7

11:30-ish

I dreamed that the hotel booking was screwed up. And that he was totally weird in real life. And that I was too. And the hotel and everything was just really horrible.

I want to keep cleaning but I should be in the workshop. Ugh.

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13:37

So after cleaning for a while I had breakfast (eggs and bacon! Yum!) and the sun was shining. I felt the pep return.

I watched half an episode of true blood with Sanna and when I went out to have a smoke the sun was gone, the wind was wild and it started raining. Yeah. Thanks.

Now I'm back in my room again.

surprise

Someone who hurt me a lot apologized today. I did'nt forgive him but still. Big surprise really. I'll never ever trust him again and I honestly don't want him in my life, but I do appreciate that he apologized.

More relevant to your interests: I'm going to Electric Picnic with Tall&Handsome (or Joe as I call him in reality) in august. We had a great weekend - on saturday he came over and mocked me a bit for being so hungover and gave me hugs and we watched Mighty Boosh, and then we went out for a walk in the sunshine, and had lunch at Quay Co-op. On saturday night we had a big work dinner with SHC, my old department that closed down. I had great pizza at Milano, we went to Crane Lane and had lot's of fun and met lot's of fun people and it was great. Lot's of fun and dancing and wooo, and Joe came there with his friend, and we had fun.

Today we went for a long long walk (and I was'nt hungover at all! Miraculous!) and we had hamburgers at Eddie Rockets.

The sun has been shining madly and I even got a little color! (In my case the color is pink and it's gone by tomorrow but still.)

I finished cutting my hair and I'm very happy with my short result. I'll try to upload a picture some time soon. Also I just paid for Spotify, so Dad - I got your invite now, if you still want it. 

Listening to: Maskinen - not on Spotify, because it's lagging so much it's impossible to use. Great. Well, it might get better, or I'll unsubscribe, or I just have to let the songs load before I listen to them... For about twice as long as it actually takes to play them. Crap.

springtime

The sun is shining as if there was no tomorrow. As if it was in a hurry, to give all that is has before it is to late. White buildings gleam blindingly, every forgotten drop of rain is drying.

The sun is shining as if it was the first day in existence, as if some diety had just thought of light and the sun was an answer to that thought. Shining proudly, like it had just realized that it was the most important thing in the solar system.

The sun is shining so bright it might seem like wrath, it's sharp rays piercing through the filthy corrugated fibreglass roofing just outside the window, making it all the way in to touch my face, hidden from the sun for so long.

The sun is shining as though it was in love with this dirty old town. Shining on every secret, every hidden peice of filth, every memory, it's touch softer than a lover's, shining happily and free from judgement. Shining on everything, just as bright.

It's not going to stay this way. This is not the truth, this kind of burning love doesn't last. This isn't really spring. In this town, there is no spring, no winter, no summer. Just different states of autumn. But the sun shines on me for now.

Listening to: Great Lake Swimmers - Your Rocky Spine

scandos everywhere!

And no one speaks skånska! It's so weird! Tall, blonde swedes. Everyone understands my secret language. And they talk like me almost.

Uppsala is a really sweet city, feels a bit small-ish, mentally, with old wooden houses and such, in bright contrast to Lund's wannabe big city-image. This kind of village feeling.

It's really strange being back in Sweden. I can't say I really feel that it's my home, but then again I never lived in Uppsala so maybe that's why. I'm looking forward to going south a lot, meeting my new baby sister and my new computer (thanks again dad) and FFF! It's gonna be so much fun.

Want to say again that my mom is probably the bestest mom evarr. It's really unusual to realize that people turn their heads after her, not me. I am kinda ordinary in comparison for once. Fun stuff!

Looking forward to meeting lot's of friends and having lot's of fun all week! In the sunshine! La vida e bella or something. This is the first day of the rest of my vacation.

home alone

I'm eating breakfast on the sofa, listening to eighties hits (I really hadn't listened to the lyrics of The Kink's Lola before) and alternative country. It's really nice. Eventually I'll do some washing, some cleaning, some showering and some going out. And some paying that damn bill of almost 300 euro.

I was looking at old photos. From last summer. Man, I was way cuter! Even after the accident! Even... the day after the accident!

Hm. I sould get out into the sunshine. Just got to finish my coffee...

Reminds me

My god. My brain is about to explode. Filled with thoughts.

Iv'e been moved over to the Swedish team. But I'm still backup for UK and Holland. Iv'e got money back from tax, but I wont get it for a couple of months.

Tonight me and Sara are going to dinner at Eva's. It will probably be exellent since it will be roast lamb, wich I love.

I miss Amalie.

The sun is shining.

I keep thinking about a thing that happened almost ten years ago. The first time I really fell in love. I waited for this guy, for ages. He lived kinda far away, and several different things got in the way (him being sentenced was one). After about six months or so, I met someone else. I still had that other guy on my mind, a lot, but the guy I met was really nice. Of course, as soon as I was unavailable, the first guy realized that he had very strong feelings for me. He asked me to leave my new boyfriend and I was more than happy to. I was in heaven.

The distance made him loose interest in just a couple of months. We had a fight, but we made peace after a week or so, and he is still a very good friend of mine. I was very young, and healed quickly. (He still misses a finger though.)

Now time has passed. But history does repeat itself, does it not?