25 and a half hours

I'm hungover and a slight panic is setting in.

surprise

Someone who hurt me a lot apologized today. I did'nt forgive him but still. Big surprise really. I'll never ever trust him again and I honestly don't want him in my life, but I do appreciate that he apologized.

More relevant to your interests: I'm going to Electric Picnic with Tall&Handsome (or Joe as I call him in reality) in august. We had a great weekend - on saturday he came over and mocked me a bit for being so hungover and gave me hugs and we watched Mighty Boosh, and then we went out for a walk in the sunshine, and had lunch at Quay Co-op. On saturday night we had a big work dinner with SHC, my old department that closed down. I had great pizza at Milano, we went to Crane Lane and had lot's of fun and met lot's of fun people and it was great. Lot's of fun and dancing and wooo, and Joe came there with his friend, and we had fun.

Today we went for a long long walk (and I was'nt hungover at all! Miraculous!) and we had hamburgers at Eddie Rockets.

The sun has been shining madly and I even got a little color! (In my case the color is pink and it's gone by tomorrow but still.)

I finished cutting my hair and I'm very happy with my short result. I'll try to upload a picture some time soon. Also I just paid for Spotify, so Dad - I got your invite now, if you still want it. 

Listening to: Maskinen - not on Spotify, because it's lagging so much it's impossible to use. Great. Well, it might get better, or I'll unsubscribe, or I just have to let the songs load before I listen to them... For about twice as long as it actually takes to play them. Crap.

Not strange at all

Just woke up, on a mattress on Steve's kitchen floor. Steve's kitchen is not as clean as one could wish. What tributes we pay to friendship. Hannah got to sleep in Steve's bed. She tricked me into going out (just for one! Right!) and then she got drunk, and then she found Steve. Then she found Steve again. So yeah... It's fun to watch. She's kinda hung over now.

Shadows

Saturday night turned out a bit to wet but all in all it was lots of fun. I should've skipped that last bottle of red wine though, sunday was harsh. So so harsh. But the upside was that I in the extremely drunken state I (helped by Amalie) arrived home in managed to take my contacts out and fall into bed without washing off my makeup. And late sunday afternoon my new eyeshadow still looked perfect! Thank you Urban Decay!

Apart from that, everything about the house goes straight to the house blog, no longer seventh heaven, only 22 Vicar now.

And when it comes to me, I'm still wrestling, and I realized I cope very badly with rejection. I guess everyone does, but it's so much harder when it's completely unexpected. It really gets to me. So I'm wrestling all these different things, unwelcome emotions that cast their shadows on my otherwise so bright day. I'm not feeling lonely, I don't long for any companion, temporary or lifelong, I don't want anyone to share stuff with, I'm completely happy having my bed to myself!

So why, for heavens sake, do I still miss? Why do I think about people that I know are not interested, or to emotionally fucked up, or simply just in the wrong country? I think it's just about the fact that I can't handle the rejection. That the fact that I am unwanted, and so badly unwanted that I'm not even worth being personally informed of this, is more painful than the actual loss of the people who reject me. Not so strange I guess, no one likes being harshly dumped. And if you feel like going Freud on me I guess it can be traced back to my childhood (no names mentioned).

The thing is, the person I miss the most has'nt really rejected me. But I still miss him.

Happy holidays

I see my own distorted reflection in a thousand brightly coloured spheres. Lights are constantly flashing around me, changing colours, moving, making me feel slightly nauseous. The soothing darkness is pierced by the faint shine from metre upon metre of tinsel in every imaginable colour.

Having a hangover at christmas is very bad. I think the only solution is to keep drinking.

Survivor

So this weekend was a bit chaos and mayhem. But I'm ok. The party on friday was wild, crazy and lasted for about sixteen hours. On saturday I had the greatest hangover-day ever, with apple pie, pizza, youtube and nice people. On sunday, shopping. Nice. Bought a well-needed sweater.

Iv'e stayed out of the house most of the weekend, and when I came home on sunday evening the livingroom and kitchen was tidy again. Wich was nice. And later on Gaël came back from his trip to Dublin with a blender, wich was also nice.

The most amazing part of all this was that I actually wasn't extremely hungover on saturday. I was hungover, but not tequila-shots-from-a-mug kind of hungover.

Well, monday is over and I have to go to the postoffice.