Sunday 30 March 2008

Not strange at all

Just woke up, on a mattress on Steve's kitchen floor. Steve's kitchen is not as clean as one could wish. What tributes we pay to friendship. Hannah got to sleep in Steve's bed. She tricked me into going out (just for one! Right!) and then she got drunk, and then she found Steve. Then she found Steve again. So yeah... It's fun to watch. She's kinda hung over now.

Friday 28 March 2008

Save the whole fucking world

Read! Do it!

Also, Im beginning to feel that it does'nt really matter what I choose. That I don't really have a choise. Things have changed and they cannot change back. And I realized that it makes me happy. And if I'm happy it can't be very wrong.

Thursday 27 March 2008

Reminds me

My god. My brain is about to explode. Filled with thoughts.

Iv'e been moved over to the Swedish team. But I'm still backup for UK and Holland. Iv'e got money back from tax, but I wont get it for a couple of months.

Tonight me and Sara are going to dinner at Eva's. It will probably be exellent since it will be roast lamb, wich I love.

I miss Amalie.

The sun is shining.

I keep thinking about a thing that happened almost ten years ago. The first time I really fell in love. I waited for this guy, for ages. He lived kinda far away, and several different things got in the way (him being sentenced was one). After about six months or so, I met someone else. I still had that other guy on my mind, a lot, but the guy I met was really nice. Of course, as soon as I was unavailable, the first guy realized that he had very strong feelings for me. He asked me to leave my new boyfriend and I was more than happy to. I was in heaven.

The distance made him loose interest in just a couple of months. We had a fight, but we made peace after a week or so, and he is still a very good friend of mine. I was very young, and healed quickly. (He still misses a finger though.)

Now time has passed. But history does repeat itself, does it not?

Wednesday 26 March 2008

There's a reason

Actual several reasons, why I havn't been updating at all the latest few weeks. This is one of them. (And it is the coolest thing since sliced bread.)

The other reason is that I've been spending a huge amount of time thinking about stuff. Or boys, actually. I don't want to talk about it. (Of course I do, but not here. At least one of them reads this.)

And also, Iv'e been kinda busy. Easter has been crazy. Last week was crazy. I was off last monday for Saint Patricks. The Saint Patricks weekend was... A bit wet. I worked three days last week and then I was off four. On wednesday, a week ago today, we had Eva and Karl over for dinner. On thursday we went pubcrawling, it was Amalies going away party. We got her very drunk. (Read more about it here.) Friday I spent on the sofa, in bed and at James' place, eating hamburgers and icecream and watching movies. Very relaxing. On saturday Matthieu, one of the technical escalations guys, had his going away party, and that was also kind of crazy, and sunday was basically the same as friday. Hungover, movies, hamburgers, icecream. On monday we had a great big dinner! Nine people in our little kitchen! It was awesome. (Read more about that here as well.)

On tuesday I stayed awake for way to long, talking to someone far away. So today I am quite tired. And a bit confused. And, from time to time, a bit sad.

But mostly all is well. Apart from the fact that Amalie has left now. Her plane leaves from Dublin right about... now. (11.30 that is.)

Saturday 15 March 2008


Ooomph. I am a bad blogger. I have been doing so much stuff lately that I hav'nt had time to blog. And at work, where I usually blog, I've been reading Questionable Content the latest couple of days.

So theatre, wine, movies... Yeah.

Today is saturday, I'm at work, leaving soon to go home to wash the rest of the henna out of my hair since there was no warm water this morning.

Anyhoo. I'll write more some other time.

Sunday 9 March 2008

These old bones needs to rest now

Exhausting weekend! Starting out with the team dinner friday, best pork ribs ever, had a few pints and some red wine, went home quite early after doing two kinda funny things; I reached out a hand and it seemed to work, which makes me feel good, and also I insulted someone. Or, not insulted so much as spoke my mind. "How come everyone hates me?" "Well, because of your asshole attitude probably." This sounds mean but that guy really needed to hear it, I think he knows that his attitude is causing him problems but he still keeps it up. We had a discussion about it, quite calm, where he explained that he could'nt do anything about it and I said that he actually had a choise.

On saturday I slept untill late, which is lovely, I love sleeping. The greatest luxury. Then me and Maria and Amalie went out shopping and then we went home where the rest of the mafia had assembled in front of the computer to watch the Swedish "Melody festival". I ate some food quickly and left them (feeling very nervous) to go meet my date.

Apart from ranting about how upset I was that Nordman had actually been allowed to perform in the show at all with that load of bullshit song of his ("If you play with magic you will awaken the wrath of heaven"?!?!) the date was very good. The second date even. We went to see "The Sultans of Ping", a Cork band who have been playing for about 15 years. It was one of the strangest gigs I ever been on! The huge moshpit was mostly guys in their 30's, and the singer looked quite special in extremely tight pink leopardprint pants and a black tight latex shirt. The music is a Toydoll's kinda punk. Apart from "Where's me jumper" they had a lot of equally weird but quite good and even more funny songs. At one point the whole crowd dropped to the ground where they where lying on their backs waving arms and legs in the air to a song about whales I think. Later the singer climbed/crowdsurfed across the whole room untill he reached the mixtable, on which he stood with the mic inside his mouth, making moves that I wont discribe more at all.

A good night, all in all, we had a beer afterwards and then decided against kebab to the benefit of pasta with chicken at my place.

While we where sitting in the kitchen talking there was a nock on the window, and I had a nice little chat with the former tenants of this very house. At three in the morning. They saw someone was awake, and we have a "pace"-flag in the window. So they just had to say hi.

Today we had a mafiadate at "LeisurePlex" where we shot lasers at small children. Definitely an underrated pleasure. We also rode motorbikes. In front of screens. Oh how great it was! Completely insane but so good! The weekend was perfectly ended with some cake of doom, and now I am going to go to bed.

And I am in quite a good mood, I must say.

Thursday 6 March 2008

a part of my life

Every day, every breath, of my life is a part of my life. A crucial part. So why do they all flicker by like butterflies, like cherry blossom petals? Soft colours, melting into one. Winter, spring. The tide comes in and River Lee swells up, boils.

My life in this city. It's different. So much emotions but still I'm generally happy. Soft colours, soft shadows in the background. And the rain, the constant rain.

Today I was so brave. I did something important. It felt weird but very good.

I can trust people. I can actually. Some people. I trust the people I live with, and the people I work with. They are my friends. A strange feeling. Security. Comfortable.

Parts of my life now.

Wednesday 5 March 2008

Confusing the time/space continuum

The weekend felt like maybe four or five days, and it's wednesday today and it feels like the week just started. Might be because I was out monday night. I did'nt plan to stay out untill late, but I kinda did anyway. My date got me a little bit tipsy and made me forget all about going hiking with the girls this weekend, so I agreed to come with him to see Sultans of Ping on saturday. But I wont get drunk on saturday though, I'm taking an early bus to Killarney sunday. Sisters before misters. The dinner he promised me on sunday will have to wait.

Tonight I'm going to see The Sacrifice by Tarkovsky at the French Film Festival.

Monday 3 March 2008

Forgive me mother for I have shopped

Mom. You know I love you, right? Well, I also happen to love my new shoes. I'm sorry I told you I have no money to give you, I know I owe you more than enough, but they where really lovely! Converse! Blue ones!

Just got paid. Not really used to it. Shopping trip to Limerick. What can I say?

I'm sorry.

Saturday 1 March 2008

Goddag! Jag älskar dig!

It's interesting how people react to the fact that you're Swedish. They thow the phrases they know at you, or tell you about the bands or carbrands they know of, and in some cases they have long monolouges about the very cool cars in Västerås (raggarbilarna!) that meet every year and that Miss Julie is on in Dublin and all sorts of things.

Well, I think that the above was the best reaction so far though. We were out for one on thursday and I happened to be talking to the bartender a bit. When he found out I was from Sweden he said "goddag!", and "Jag älskar dig!". Now this is maybe not the most practical phrases to know in a language. I answered "But we just met!" wich made him a bit embarrassed I think. I kept talking to him though, and I also returned the day after. There's just something with bartenders, I don't know why. Cute bartenders especially.

So friday was fun, or would have been fun if everyone wasn't so very tired (and sitting at the back close to the fireplace didn't really help, especially since everything got covered in soot). Also, unexpected company showed up and started talking to me like we were old friends, not two people who dated some time ago untill he ended it with a textmessage. He had no obligation to do it in any other way, but it was unexpected and hello, text. Anyhow, he asks me if I left a hoodie at his place, wich I didn't. "Are you sure?" "Yes, it was probably someone else." "Really sure? A grey hoodie with like pockets and stuff..." "Well give it to me if you really want to" "Sure!" "Yeah, well, you have my number." He didn't respond to that. What the? What does he mean by this? And then he keeps talking about architecture and travelling and how he likes the smell from the fire and my god and then he just leaves. I don't understand men. At all.

Well, cute bartender guy did cheer me up by asking me out (even after I shouted "I'm just so tired of... Guys!" while he was standing right behind me) but we did leave quite early to go over to Dave's and fall asleep in front of Rocky Horror.

Today is saturday, the sun is shining, we're all awake and not very hungover and we're going into town to spend all of our brand new shiny money. I am going to buy some presents, and possibly a sweater. Glorious. I think maybe washing the soot of first might be a good idea though. Tonight I think we're just watching movies or possibly going for one, and tomorrow we're going to Limerick! Yay.

The bottom line then: All men are assholes, if not to me then to someone else. The date seemed like a really nice guy, and he was clearly a total dickhead. Some other bartender in some other part of the word might be wonderful towards me, but I have a distinctive feeling that he might be treating someone else, who happens to be in the same country as him, a bit crappy. And the cute bartender who's number I happened to have will probably turn out to be an asshole as well, but I'll give him the benefit of a doubt for a while.