it's so easy

It's so hard but still so easy. Life slips quickly into old habits, I'm back and I have this me-shaped hole to sink back into and it's so easy.

Work is not so great. I feel tired and unfocused because the job doesn't give me very much back anymore.

And as soon as I leave work I let it go and push it out of my mind and do other things. Knit. Eat pizza. Watch movies. And then the day has passed and I'm in front of this brilliant laptop staring sleepily at the screen.

We're planning on a trip to Ikea, Belfast. And mom is coming here for christmas. And I'm thinking about presents and christmas cards and baking and sewing and maybe painting and doing lots of stuff with my free time.

I feel like Mulder. I want to believe. Only it's hard when there's not so much proof like. And if you would try to tell anyone they would think youre crazy. Well. I guess signs point to it.

But yeah I keep thinking about this redhead.