Sunday 26 October 2008


Pretty soon the kids born in the eighties will start reaching thirty. Pretty scary, huh?

Every time I look in the mirror I can see it. The years. I hate it! I really did'nt expect to hate it, I've allways been aware that my features will change with time but I thought it would take longer. And look different. I mean, I have no wrinkels or anyting, I just kinda look heavier. My face looks more tired. It might be the fact that I put on some weight after moving to Ireland, but I look different than I did the last time I gained weight.

And I don't really know if loosing weight will change anything.

I think a lot about my future. And sometimes I know exactly how I want my life to look in six months or a year (but seldom more than that) and sometimes I have no idea.

Sometimes I want to go back to the last week of the festival.

Today me and my mom are going to IKEA. I will go there mext weekend as well, with Carin and Maria. So just scouting today. No money to spend. Or, I wont have much next week either, gonna pay so much debts next month I wont afford any christmaspresents or stuff or anything. In december I'll probably take a small break in paying people money. But from january I'll start paying more and shopping none and living cheap. I hate owing people money and I want to get rid of the weight of my debts. Especially debts to people who are no longer in my life, but who used to be really close. But on the other hand, owing my family isn't great either. Both of my families actually - mom and dad and Maria and Olof.

No german movie last night, it was so totally ridicoulus. On the other hand, due to router problems, no World of Warcraft either.

Tomorrow I'm going to visit Emilia!

Listening to: (why did I ever stop writing what I listen to?) Right now: the soundtrack to Oh Brother where art thou, but lots of Lamb, Cocteau Twins, Mr. Vegas, Nirvana and some Regina Spektor as well.

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