calling out from scatland

All is well.

Really well. I have been wanting and needing a laptop for so long and I love this. Vacation. A home with wonderful people in it when I go back. Several weeks ahead of me of lots of fun, meeting old friends, seeing a tonne of movies. And yesterday I got a big surprise. A gift. From a relative that I have no contact with at all. Money. Totally unexpected and wonderful, because this means that I can pay people back. Maia and Robin, who have been wonderful and helped me out selflessly even though they had it rough as well, without a word since. Both my parents, and of course my imbecille ex, who I will be free from once I payed him back. This gift and the bonus I will eventually get for importing Johan and Viola once they pass their probation. (Need I add that I hope that both will stay forever, for ever ever?)

Living in Cork can be ... maybe not demanding, but not all good. Irish people can be tricky to deal with, the weather is mostly aweful but I have to say that it is my home and I love it there. Coming "home" to Sweden made me realize that. I could move back here though, if I had a reason. Home is where the heart is, right? My heart is where I feel safe and happy - with Maria. My family of choise.

Of course I feel safe and happy with my family of blood as well. I love Kajsa - and Nils and Astrid and Elis - so much.

So all is well. I'm enjoying the last bit of summer, enjoying some FFF-work (mostly sorting e-mails and trying to get ahold of Lars), enjoying life. Enjoying the freedom that I can see now.

I can't wish that I never fell for you. I can't. Even though thoughts of you cloud any sunny day I can't wish we hadn't met. I guess you think about it though.

I remember what you said that night, when we where standing on that bridge, watching bats fly back and forth over the water.

I miss you. I keep on hoping.