porcelain

I am taken by surprise by myself every day. Things are different than I remember. People are different.

I react totally different to meeting people than I anticipate.

Like she is so much more beautiful then I remembered... And I remembered her like very beautiful. And I am caught behind my own eyes. Mesmerized.

And people react differently to me than I expect them to. It seems like they really want to see me. And like they really enjoy spending time with me. And I spend all my time working. And I leave in thirteen days and I don't think I have many hours left that are not filled with plans.

I am happier. Now. I got some distance. Don't know why, but life feels a little bit easier right now than it did earlier today.

Maybe because I was sceming with Maria about the glorious nerd I will become as soon as I come back home. Or because I talked to my mom a lot. Or because I met my good friend Sandra. Or because I came up on the attic, at last, and got some kind of picture of how much work there is to be done. I don't know. Maybe it's just how tolerant Maia is when I'm in a crappy mood.

Or something else. Something that looks a bit like a fairy.

Meeting old friends is really good. Friends are what define you, right? The people you choose to have in your life. I have made a lot of good choises.

I have a lot of FFF work left to do but it will have to wait. Tomorrow. Sleep now.