Angst

I'm so hung over. I feel like poop.

Pooooooop.

At least I had fun last night.

What a weekend

On Friday I think I partied for 11 or 12 straight hours which is unusual for me! At least the last few years. I was at a mingle event and met an old friend, ate amazing sushi at izakaya koi, drank wine and irish coffee and weird grogs at Kalle's place and went to a party where I met a lot of new and exciting people! Some of whom I later had a fantastic night with.

On Saturday I was pretty hung over but it was a good day anyway. Today is my mother's birthday and we went to a viking market with Robin, who bought me a necklace that I fell so madly in love with. It's made of black oak with a bronze bead. I can't really say what I love so much about it but I never want to take it off. I think I'm going to make it my turn around symbol. Years of pressure and hardship has made me stronger and wiser and better. Black oak is mostly reclaimed wood from old sunken ships. (Robin has a peice found in an old well, and one found deep underground while making the city tunnel in Malmö.) I recognized it immediately and the man who sold it said that I was the first who did. I wish I had asked where this particular wood is from.

Anyway; my turn around symbol because I am getting stronger and things are turning around. I feel better and better. When stuff is difficult I think that I'm one of billions of people on a small rock hurtling through space. And as such I have everything I need. So the black oak, from a tree that grew over hundreds of years and then, after that, was probably felled and made into something by someone, and then, after that, waited for hundreds of years more before coming to me, will remind me of a lot of things.

Everthing passes. Everthing has an end. Good and bad.
Life is amazing and filled with surprises and love and beauty.
I, too, am made stronger from my experiences.
My whole existence - from womb to tomb - is nothing compared to this tiny peice of wood, once a living thing. And THAT in turn is nothing compared to the silly little rock it once grew on. This silly beautiful rock hurtling through space.
Stuff is going to get better from now on.

I also bought a small pot of smoked salt and some other small trinkets. And I finally did the vacuuming.

Now I think I'll watch a horror movie before bed.

good times

Theres this game. You're supposed to bluff. The whole game is about putting a card on the table, face down, and say that is is a certain card, and if the opponent does not believe you he or she can look at the card. And if you where bluffing you have to drink. And if it's true the opponent drinks.

Now Tall&Handsome grew up playing poker. I did'nt. He masters the art of the pokerface. I master the art of getting shitfaced. 

Playing this game against someone who has the pokerface of kings might be a bad idea. We finished one and a half bottle of disgusting liqourish vodka.

My head hurts.

Listening to: Buena Vista Social Club - Chan Chan

flow

Mer längtan än vad som får plats i ett hjärta.

The cakedaycake was thuruoghly appreciated. Friday evening I'm not even going to talk about. I had a great time though.

Yesterday I was really hungover most of the day but we really managed to make the autumn dinner really nice! A very nice night, great atmosphere, lovely people, great food, good wine, some rum... Lovely.

I made sweet potato pie, wich was really good.

Today something very unusual happened; I woke up around six and could not go back to sleep. I got out of bed around eight, after twisting and turning and trying to fall asleep and failing and watching the night on the other side of my red curtains slowly fade away and a grey morning light take it's place.

So I gave up and went downstairs and played wow.

Listening to: M.I.A. - Galang

nothing more than...

Feelings? Words? My head is spinning and I can't make it stop. I worry that I scared Joe LondonBartenderDude off with my latest email. Havn't heard from him in a few days.

The weekend has been a bit insane, insane partying, intense. Friday I was on a mission to become as drunk as humanly possible, and I succeeded! A winner is me. The feelings did'nt go away though.

Saturday I was very hungover, but I managed to make it to the bbq party after all. It was a really sweet party. Live music and wonderful people. Eventually we went out to the Crane Lane, and after that an afterparty at Björn's. With more beer that any human could ever drink. (That's what happens if you give a large amount of money to an insane norwegian guy telling him to get beer. He added some more money and got ten times more beer that anyone would ever want or need.)

I have to admit that I don't regret sharing my thoughts.