manx mists

So I'm still at IoM and I'm feeling better both mentally and physically. Being sick always makes me sad. But yesterday Maria and I went to like three different towns and bought some yarn and a new hat and some other small things that I could almost afford so I feel a bit giddy over my new hat and... yeah! Stuff! Owning physical things induce happiness! Scary but true. 

Another thing that makes me really happy is this whole new "two boyfriends" deal. It's pretty frackin awesome, let me tell you. I can see what people might think, that it's wrong or not as special or whatever but these two relationships are extremely different and might also not function without each other. I love two dudes. And I love a whole bunch of other people too. But these two dudes I love more than just like friends and they both love me back. I can't not smile when I think about it. And they both love me enough to be okay with me having the other. That's pretty much love from pretty open minded and amazing people. 

The fact that one of them lives in Denmark and the other in Texas definitely makes it easier. I live in Sweden. But the Danish one lives like an hour away. So the intimacy I miss from having a long distance relationship isn't a problem anymore and the stability that I want I still have. None of these relationships really lack anything - not more than any other relationship does - but when I have both I have everything I could possibly want, more than one relationship could possibly provide.

I feel very lucky.

Crazy days

Wise guys realize there's danger in emotional ties!

But what is life without danger? Not an adventure. And life should be an adventure.

Avoiding danger is just being a coward.

It seems I have a boyfriend. It feels strange to explain to people that I love someone whom I have never actually met, but it feels very wonderful to call him mine. He is amazing and I don't feel like we've never met. We've just never actually been at the same place at the same time. I love him madly and ... he loves me. It's wonderful. I can't imagine that someone like him could be - is - in love with me.

I'm very happy.

The last few days has been so intense and crazy and fun.

I have been to parties, chased a thief, met old and new friends, had lots of good food, tasty drinks, spent a lot of time texting my boyfriend, met the most wonderful short people in the world, had cake and so many hugs.

Now I'm finally home and back in my bed.

Home in my room, at school. Not home where my heart is. My heart is in Texas. I never thought that my heart and my home would be in Texas, but life is an adventure. It's amazing.

Wet and cold

It's been raining and snowing. The weather is the kind of wet, icy cold that gets you whatever you're wearing.

I feel sorry for our nude model. But drawing nudes is lots of fun so that makes the day much better than it would have been otherwise.

In other news I'm insane. I'm totally crazy mad about that sweet wonderful person in Texas. I've never fallen in love over the Internet before and it's strange and a bit scary but wonderful.

Blä

Sovit 12 timmar. Orkar inte röra mig. Har ingen mat hemma men lite pengar som jag fått låna av en god vän. Måste in till stan och köpa frukost. Ont i huvet och känner mig ensam och sorgsen och sviken och osäker och rädd.

Borde inte somna om men det är varmt och skönt under täcket.

Vill vara i Texas nu. Nu nu nu.

Oh!

I had a couple of really great weeks! Parties and lots of talking to a Texan on Skype and getting some stuff done in school (uhm not actual assignments but still). Managed to start getting to bed on time and almost getting out of bed on time as well. Stayed pretty active and stuff. Watched Adventure Time.

Fun!