One year

A couple of days ago me and my lovely darling had our one year anniversary, we celebrated by being ill! Yay! Now it's the weekend and we're still both pretty crappy. But we love each other and take care of each other and cuddle extra much, as usual.

Being physically weak always makes me super sensitive and moody, and I end up thinking too much about small trivial things from my past. I think my shrink would have told me to be okay with thinking about difficult stuff but I really don't want to! So I end up listening to audio books, watching movies and TV shows and playing tons of games (especially the super cute Seabeard!) to drown out my thoughts.

While listening to books (the Joona Linna-books by Kepler and Mists of Avalon By Marion Zimmer Bradley) I've been knitting on a brioche scarf and matching mittens for a friend (who asked AGES ago), spinning yarn (as always) and drawing a LOT! And trying (again) to learn some Photoshop! Very rewarding and fun. Definitely balances up my sadness and moodiness a bit.

In a couple of weeks it's time for me to finally fix my tooth, an anesthesiologist has been booked and I will be in a drug-induced sleep during the procedure. It's super expensive so all of march will be in super-saving-mode. No excesses. But in a couple of months we're going to Stockholm! I'm so incredibly exited, it's not completely final yet but we're pretty sure we can make it. That means I might get to see my friend's play about Ayn Rand AND the Vivian Maier exhibition! And of course hug some of my favourite people on the planet! Yay!

Smile

The faces that I draw are smiling. They used to look serious before, or sad. Even before my depression.

I'm at my most creative at night. I know in my heart that this is good.

I've been reading a lot about the zodiac. Not the murderer but the old astrological stuff. It's interesting, just a lot of symbols really. I know my mom has Jung's book on symbols somewhere. I would love to read it. Symbols are very interesting.

My thoughts flutter around like drunk butterflies, I love it. I'm inspired. Full of ideas, thoughts, fantasies, dreams.

The night time is the right time. The only thing I have to do tomorrow is some cleaning. And I hope I'll be able to make myself sew some things.

Either way I can stay up late and draw things. Smiling faces.

Wet and cold

It's been raining and snowing. The weather is the kind of wet, icy cold that gets you whatever you're wearing.

I feel sorry for our nude model. But drawing nudes is lots of fun so that makes the day much better than it would have been otherwise.

In other news I'm insane. I'm totally crazy mad about that sweet wonderful person in Texas. I've never fallen in love over the Internet before and it's strange and a bit scary but wonderful.

still got so very far to go

I get so mad at myself when I'm late for work. I'm going to start waking up an hour earlier. Really. From now on. So yeah, that's five o'clock. In the morning.

But I'm not going to be late anymore.

I had a really bad day today, but then I took a walk with Hannah at lunch and talked a lot about everything that made me mad and now I feel a lot better. That's a great thing. That I can talk about stuff and then feel better about them. I'm happy about that.

So me and Tall&Handsome cancelled the Dingle-plans, we're going to the film festival instead. It seems great! Yay!

Been scribbling a lot, trying to come up with some kind of childrens book character. So far i think I could call that book "stranger danger" 'cause all of the characters I draw look bloody scary.

If I had a scanner I would scan them for the world to see. Yes indeed.

Back to work.