The Magicians

"The magicians is to Harry Potter as a shot of Irish whiskey is to a glass of weak tea" George RR Martin said, according to the back of the book.

No. The Magicians is like a wine-fueled hangover, complete with regrets and misery and sex and awkwardness, plus REAL MAGIC, which isn't really much fun. It's painful and exhausting and powerful and very difficult. In comparison Harry Potter feels like a silly colorful children's book.

The fact that the characters (well, Josh) keeps making sarcastic jokes about Harry Potter is a sweet detail in this amazing web of people growing into bitterness and acceptance and adulthood.

On top of everything the language is absolutely beautiful.

You should read it.

where does the good go?

Oh, I'm okay. Momentarily I get angsty - I am standing at the crossroads, there's this big change right ahead of me, I'm in transit and whatever, but I'm pretty much okay.

I just really miss some people. Most of my friends in Sweden I'm hoping on seeing pretty soon and I know the little pinch of pain when I think of the first couple of months with Joe will feel less painful in a couple of weeks.

I miss Ida.

Otherwise I'm reading the last Harry Potter book, and it's extremely scary and stuff is happening and... stuff. At the moment I'm eating end-of-the-month-dinner; pasta with leftover blue-cheese-sauce that Maria made the other day. Delicious if not a very big dinner.

Listening to: My Playlist - at the moment Leonard Cohen - Who By Fire

silence

Silence all around me.

Everytime I think I might be close to release I loose grip. It always takes me a couple of days to regain focus, to get back on track. But I make it after a while, even though it's hard.

The problem is I just can't stop hoping, but still I can't let go. It's destroying me. I don't want this. I want my life to be about me. I want peace of mind. I want something else.

I don't want this emotional blackmail.

Everything I say is true.

We got paid today. I actually have a budget, or I've started making a budget and I'll finish it as well! I will. Today I bought some stuff but everything I buy for creative reasons feels okay. I got some stuff for making autumn decorations for the house and some acrylic paint for the clay figures I'm making and yarn for finishing my scarf and some other stuff. I have so much inspiration! I don't know where it all comes from! Amazing.

After this little shopping orgy at Vibes and Scribes me, Maria and Viola had fika at Tribes. (Vibes, scribes, tribes. The best thing rhyme.) The fika was tea and hot chocolate and needlepoint and knitting and wonderful Philly steak and cheese sandwiches with curly fries.

Tomorrow is halloween. Today we put up a million billion halloween thingys and tomorrow we're all going to dress up for work. I'm going to do makeup on everyone. Or everyone that wants makeup, that is.

On saturday it's IKEA all day long. We're leaving at five in the morning and driving for four or five hours to Belfast. In the evening Viola and Björn might throw a party. I guess the word has spread enough for people to show up at their house, wether they actually are throwing a party or not. There's a chance I might be a bit tired though. We'll see.

Next weekend we (or maybe mostly I) will be hosting a small dinner thing.

Apart from that I'm mostly planning for christmas. We're going to have a tree and my mom and dinner and stuff. Great stuff! It's going to be awesome.

Now I'm gonna take a bath. A bubbly bath. Let go of all of my thoughts.

Listening to: Cocteau Twins, the complete discography on shuffle. So damn good. Like perfume for my ears. Favourites right now are "Ivo" and "Hitherto".
Reading: Darkly Dreaming Dexter by Jeff Lindsay. Totally different from the TV-series.