Showing posts with label alone. Show all posts
Showing posts with label alone. Show all posts

Wednesday, 31 July 2013

chatting

it's almost four
I hate when Ben leaves
the days are okay but the nights are the WORST
I stay up late just so I can sleep for long so that time passes faster...

So yeah, it's really late and this is blog post number 900. Today I wrote a bit on my book, painted my nails, hung out with Rose, played Guild Wars 2 and... that's pretty much it I guess. I went swimming, I ate a lot of candy and pretty much no "real" food except a frozen mac-n-cheese that was supposed to be fancy but tasted pretty horrible. (Rose liked hers though.)

Oh and I watched Twin Peaks, ep1s02. Curiouser and curiouser. The owls are not what they seem. Oh Lynch you crazy dude.

Nails are now a shade of pearly pink that I can't decide if I love or hate.

Goodnight. Or morning. Or whatever time it is when you read this, dear reader.

---edit---
tried to get this post to look normal but srsly guise it's super late and I'm goin to bed instead

Saturday, 29 November 2008

ouch

I have been eating way to much gingerbread today, and even more gingerbread dough. My stomach hurts! I havn't been doing much more than baking today, apart from chillin', watching a couple of episodes of Buffy, and spontaneously cleaning the fridge.

Ida, Hannah, Sandra and Rob came by to hang out, at different times, and tomorrow will possibly be a bit the same. Exept Maria will be gone. She leaves for Sweden early tomorrow morning. And Olof is leaving to! So strange to be alone in the house. Can't imagine what it will be like. Exept that I might eat a lot of fish. And playing video games with Johan. But I'll miss Maria (and maybe Olof to, a little bit). 

Last night was great fun and I have my new glasses now! With great eyesight and a few glasses of wine and quite a lot of rum and the most fun friends anyone could wish for I had a truly good time. And today I didn't have hangover at all! Great stuff like!

Speaking of like, I have started talking with a really broad Cork-dialect. And it's really annoying me. I'm not from here and it's kinda... poser. But I really don't try to! It comes all natural like... 

What's wrong witcha'?! Story like?! (Yes. I sound silly. I didn't talk skånska in Skåne so why all this now?)

Tonight I had the strangest dream. My mother and I were walking down this long road. All around us there's beautiful autumn nature, but the road is muddy and covered in trash. There is someone else there, it might be Maria, I don't know. And I meet - someone, someone who is very special to me and who I miss very much. I'm walking beside him, talking, when we encounter a guard in the road. Behind him is a hill, the road goes over the hill. To our left there is a lake and to the right there is some kind of house. The sun is shining, the air is scandinavian cold. The person by my side is silent and grumpy, smoking a cigarette. My mother asks the guard if we can pass, explains that we really want to continue walking on the road, but he says no. She says "we promise to be nice" and he says that well, alright. But this persone, this special person, he picks something up from the road, a long stick with a peice of broken glass on it, I have no idea what it is, and he throws it in the lake. The guard is really mad and says that we absolutely can't pass. We beg him and tell him that this is the road we always walk, but he says no. Then we hear a sound, and the guard tells us to run and hide. Over the hill comes a very big bull running. He is big as an elephant with long, sharp horns. We turn and run, and try to hide behind the corner of the house, because that is the only shelter around, but the bull sees us and follows us around the corner and it's coming against us, and I wake up. 

Now. It's a bit late and I think I'll maybe watch an episode of Flight of the Conchords or something. 

Sleep well world.

Listening to: Sun Ra and Be Good Tanyas.

Saturday, 7 June 2008

small

I'm feeling... small and meanigless. It's like there's no place for me, anywhere in the world. Like I mean nothing to anyone.

I know I do, this is just the way I feel. We used to have such a good thing going here. Then Amalie moved, Hannah moved over to Socs, Ida became boss, Sara went to Sweden and Maria and Olof found eachother. And they are all still my friends and stuff, it's just that... theres not really the same kind of... team... stuff. I'm really bad at saying "hey, do you want to hang out with me?"

You would have thought that the two friends of mine that I imported from Sweden and who both live in my house and both work next to me would hang out with me, but they found each other and they have so much in common. They don't talk to me so much. They're not unfriendly, they just don't really include me in they're plans. And I don't like to ask. I wake up at nine thirty, it's saturday morning, they tell me that they're going to the park. ...and if I wanna come along that's ok. But hurry, please. 'Cause we really want to leave soon, or the whole day will pass.

I feel a bit like... fuck off. So I'm alone.

There's no place for me, nowhere on earth. I loose the people I love. Nothing is constant, everything is allways changing. Which is a good thing. Really. But does it have to change to me being alone?