Saturday 7 June 2008

small

I'm feeling... small and meanigless. It's like there's no place for me, anywhere in the world. Like I mean nothing to anyone.

I know I do, this is just the way I feel. We used to have such a good thing going here. Then Amalie moved, Hannah moved over to Socs, Ida became boss, Sara went to Sweden and Maria and Olof found eachother. And they are all still my friends and stuff, it's just that... theres not really the same kind of... team... stuff. I'm really bad at saying "hey, do you want to hang out with me?"

You would have thought that the two friends of mine that I imported from Sweden and who both live in my house and both work next to me would hang out with me, but they found each other and they have so much in common. They don't talk to me so much. They're not unfriendly, they just don't really include me in they're plans. And I don't like to ask. I wake up at nine thirty, it's saturday morning, they tell me that they're going to the park. ...and if I wanna come along that's ok. But hurry, please. 'Cause we really want to leave soon, or the whole day will pass.

I feel a bit like... fuck off. So I'm alone.

There's no place for me, nowhere on earth. I loose the people I love. Nothing is constant, everything is allways changing. Which is a good thing. Really. But does it have to change to me being alone?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

En saga om när Maia kommer till Irland:

När Maia kommer till Irland har hon med sig Firefly och Eddie Izzard och kaviar. Hon har med sig interna skämt och energi att skapa massa fina nya minnen. När Maia kommer till Irland kan vi prata om hur folk är hemska och att ja det är sant att folk inte stannar kvar men man kan alltid vara säker på att VI finns kvar. För jag finns här, alltid. Vi kanske är långt ifrån varandra med saker som händer i våra liv och förändringar vi går igenom, men jag kommer inte släppa taget om dig, det kan du vara så säker på. Jag håller hårt här borta i Sverige.