Wednesday 29 July 2009

well

It's sad. It is more sad than I am. The situation. We where a pretty good couple, in my eyes. And of course I am sad as well, 'cause it was real nice, you know? But I think the concept of the couple was probably better than the actual couple, and I knew it wouldn't work, but it's still sad. It's sad because he was such a great guy and it was fun to have a boyfriend and I had fun with him. But then, I think he will be just as great as a friend, and it feels right now as though I wont be very sad in a week. Bit now I am. Now I feel like... Damn. He is so great. I am crazy about him. He is good looking and the sex is great and he has a great taste in music and I have fun with him. Right now all the things that made me realize that this wasn't ment to be feel distant and all his good sides stand out. But I knew that there was an end, and this end was still better than I had hoped, actually, because he was honest and brave and he could talk about it and be open and fair and... Yeah. I guess it's actually the best way it could end.

I still feel wierd about not texting him and not getting texts from him saying sweet things like "I haven't seen you for like two days! I miss you!" or stuff like that. I'll never fall asleep in his arms again, he'll never call me darling again.

I kinda know that the best things about him will still be there. I kinda know we'll be friends. And yeah... It's okay.

It's just that it was so nice, having a boyfriend. Falling asleep in his arms. Waking up when he comes back. I knew it would end. I just hoped it wouldn't be so soon.

It hurts. But not in the same way as heartbreak has felt before, and I'm sad about that too. I am - was - crazy about him but the pain does not make me break down the same way as it did... Before.

Listening to:
My playlist, of course. (Witch ironically plays "Little Bit" by Lykke Li at the moment.)

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