Monday 13 April 2015

I hate my life and I want to die

No news there I guess

I am alone and everything is meaningless and people are crap and I am poor and can't afford to eat food and my existence is so completely meaningless.

I focus on that dude and hate myself even more for it but I love him and I don't really have a whole lot else to focus on when everything is like this

I want to die

But I don't want to because of this one person who I love and who loves me back

It's so pathetic, he has a life and I just sit in my room with this heavy sadness pressing me down through my bed, not letting me breathe

And I can't even take comfort in the thought of death anymore

My roomies are eating something that smells nice but I'm not invited I guess, they haven't been inviting me to eat with them lately, I don't know why. We used to eat together. Now I guess we don't.

Seriously there is nothing at all in my life that gives it any sort of meaning expect for him. It's a too big responsibility. He shouldn't have to carry that. But I can't really figure out a way to fix it. Or anything else.

I hate everything. Why is this my life. Why is everything so horrible. Fuck.

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