Every damn night it's the same

I think "soon I'll go to bed" and then I paint and then it's god damn four in the morning.

At least I've been in a pretty good mood today. And I survived the first day of my new, even lower dose of meds with only ... Well, a lot of abstinence jitters and forgetfulness and stuff. But you know. No suicide today!

Another day closer to dying of old age. ASAP.