Broken forever

It's Sunday. Fittingly the sun is shining. The sky is blue. It's a crispy, bright, beautiful winter day in southern Sweden. 

I slept for 12 hours. I woke up past noon and I still haven't really made it out of bed. I made coffee, took my meds, ate some cereal. But I think I should probably do something. Get dressed maybe. Get out. Take a walk. I don't know. I just don't have the energy. Motivation. 

I feel like a broken person. I am a broken person. I can't do what people are supposed to do. I feel like a ragdoll in a world of robots. They all function. They all get out of bed. They all have lives. 

I try to move but my body won't respond. I play stupid, simple games on my phone and listen to music. Sometimes I sit up for a while but not for long. Sitting up is difficult and heavy. I crawl back in under my covers and read a cracked article or something. 

I feel utterly insignificant.