borderline

Too much! Too much in my head right now.

It seems like I might be seeing pubbartenderguy (the one here in Cork that is) again... At least texting a lot. Talked a bit to the one in London over msn. The thing is that he makes me feel used. I trusted him with my feelings and got really nothing at all. I mean, I know that he has stuff in his life right now, but so do I and he does'nt seem to know about that.

There is people around me who see every little change in my mood though. Ok, I have extreme moodswings, but I'm really not used to having people around me who care enough to see how I feel.

So yeah, extreme moodswings. Been in a really good mood the latest couple of days. It might have been that the alcoholpoisoned sleep all saturday was the rest that I really needed, or that the really nice saturday night just revived my spirits, or that it's so great to live with Maria and Viola and Johan (although we miss Sara of course) or anything, I dont know, but most of the time I'm doing great.

Then I have lows, and they suck. But I get back on my feet, safe and protected in a social network that feels like the nicest thing in a very long while. Safe and protected without feeling caught or trapped or anything. Safe but free. So nice. I love you guys, if you read this.

It's summer now. Unfortunately my favourite skirt broke today. The pink fluffy flowers have mostly fallen and the city is green. More green than I would have thought a few months ago. I bought flipflops today and we had a picnic in peace park after work.

Sleepy time.