Today my heart hurts

I love going to school. This place is great and wonderful. But I'm thinking so much about everything I lost, and people I miss, and I feel so sad. It feels like the sadness is so deep and all-encompassing, like it's in the core of my being, like it can never go away. I hate feeling like this. I want to be happy, and most people think i am. I'm having lots of fun but the sadness is always there, like a black rock inside me. A big one.

I don't want to be in love. Ever again. It's the most horrible thing in the world.