Angst

So much that needs to be done that I can't get done. I just can't. The anxiety makes me just sleep all the time. It's too difficult to be awake. I don't want to face reality. 

I got a text message from my cell phone traffic provider thing saying that my last bill didn't get payed. There wasn't enough money on my account. 

I don't have enough to pay the bill. Things like this makes me just not want to be alive. I'm not getting any money. I thought I was getting a small monthly amount but I was wrong. 

I have no money and nowhere to go. I want to stay here with the man I love and I can for a while but then I have to go back to Sweden and I have no idea what to do there. Where to go. I don't really want to go there. I want to visit but then I want to come back here. But I can't do that without any money. 

I feel lost and caught in a trap. I feel like I'm drowning. I'm so tired of this life. It just gets more and more complicated. More difficult.