Marathon

I've had some serious netflix (and vlc I guess) quality time the last few days. Sleepy Hollow, Wayward Pines, Kimmy Schmidt, Brooklyn 99. Spinning tons of yarn (actually grams because it was silk. But probably kilometers), drinking tea and generally relaxing. And also cleaning up a lot. The apartment looks like a place where grownups live! Amazing!

New year

Same old lactose intolerance. Note to self; don't buy the cheapest cheese. Because it is not naturally lactose free like most cheeses that have been aged like a month or something.

On the other hand I got some super awesome gifts this Christmas! Me and Chris spent it with his family in England, vegetating on sofas for most part of a three week vacation. It was wonderful.

And it's equally wonderful to be back home. Where clothes are optional. And where tap water is drinkable (if slightly more rich in lime (not the fruit) than I thought was even possible).

We finished season three of x files and I watched season one and two of black sails. We're watching parks and rec (we're at the end of season four I think).

We started a couple of art projects together.

Life is pretty good.

Pod, metaphors, Christmas, motherly love

Some news my beloved readers!

- I have, with my dear, dear friend Alexandra, started a podcast that you should listen to!

- On Saturday I'm metaphor wrestling for the fourth time (I think)! It's great fun! Come and watch it if you are in Skåne! Inkonst, eight o'clock, free entrance! I won't be catpuppy this time. I will channel the Amazing Grace! She is from America and she likes God and Freedom and Guns.

- I have baked ginger snaps, or "pepper cookies" (literal translation from swedish). This is one of my two Christmas traditions. The other is making and sending cards. Woop!

- My mother came by yesterday with a gift calendar! The advent calendar is a big deal in sweden. There are lots of different ones. There's even an official one from the free tv and radio thing. It's a socialist thing. Yay sweden! Anyway the gift calendars are a fun way to spend more money on small objects for your beloved ones. I am so happy for mine! Even though I won't be giving away anything for Christmas myself.

I think that's all the news. I've been feeling down the last few days and decided to quit alcohol for a few weeks. I painted a painting that turned out pretty horrible. I bought a new eye shadow. I watched all of the new season of Downton. I ate some chocolate. I decided to make a doll thing that I still haven't started making.

Hugs and kisses from your favorite bloggie <3

Fresh to death

Is not what I am at all. Other things I aint:
Going to bed in some kind of "normal" time
Done with stuff
Rich and powerful

But whatever. I'm a model. I don't have to care.

On a more serious note I was thinking about stress hormones and what they do to the body. If you live in constant stress the hormones fuck your body up. Depression can make your body all broken and crappy. Not just your mind. It's a bit scary.

Things that are not scary:
Sims 4
Guild Wars 2
Kyle XY
Alphas

My favorite things right now.

Now it's almost Sunday morning. Goodnight.

Beat the heat

For a couple of days the south of sweden has been extremely hot. Yesterday I made a moussaka and a banoffi pie with a merengue topping. It was insanely hot in the kitchen. And outside it. I tried putting on makeup. It didn't really work out.

I bought a fan, the kind that folds up and doesn't need a battery. I'm happy that I did.

The dinner turned out great and in the evening I went for a sunset swim. Very lovely.

Today there has been quite a lot of thunder and lots and lots of rain. It's sticky and hot and my friend's car's alarm went off because of a lightning strike close by. We're watching top gear and sweating.

Over and out.

Silly analysis

Reading about astrology (greek for "thinking about stars" - beautiful no?) and watching Elementary at the same time resulted in me analyzing traits a little. I have decided that Sherlock Holmes (at least the version of the character portrayed in Elementary) is a Virgo, born late in august. I have no idea if the character has an actual "birthday" (in the show or books) but he has a lot of Virgo traits. Joan Watson could be a Cancer. Possibly born in the first half of july.

Now it's really late and I can feel the night hunger starting to sneak up on me. And night eating leads to an even crappier sleep schedule so to bed I go!

I did do the cleaning today! And I paid a bill. Tomorrow I'll pay the other one. And meet my mother. And maybe start a new knitting, I have been experimenting with a design that I can't really get to work but I have some new ideas.

put your hands up

Not writing does not mean I have nothing to write. It only means I would just write the wrong things.

This last week I watched the whole first season of Heroes, and a couple of episodes from season two. Great stuff. Exept for the total fail when one character comes to Cork. Filmed in Limerick. Hmpf. Totally wrong accents and everything. And it's really annoying that they always have to throw in a bit of romantic props that look "Irish", like a crook wearing a baker boy cap and stuff like that. People here don't look at all like they do in american minds. Surprise surprise.

The christmas party was super fun.

It's really hard to write when I don't want to tell what my fingers wants to write.

Can't let go.

Listening to: Mr. Vegas - Raging Bull

day two almost over

Working tomorrow. Definitely. As great as it's been watching the entire first season of Big Bang Theory in one day and knitting a hat I cannot sit still another day.

Okay, I sit still at work too. But I walk there in the morning.

My first hat is done! I am very proud.

Also I'm downloading Melrose Place.

salt and sugar

Chips and olives for breakfast untill my mouth is numb from all the salt, three or four in the afternoon in front of the tv, drinking coffee and crying to the old american movie about doomed love, home alone. Writing long emails and short ones.

Wrestling in bed with my friends, tickling and hugging and eating more chips, loosing faith in the world after listening to Olof's stories from Palestine. Pancakes (Swedish ones) for dinner, very sweet with jam and whipped cream.

Downloaded Curse of Monkey Island. And Beethoven's first to ninth, and Ika i Rutan. (Ika in the screen, best children's tv show ever. Every episode.)

Remembering the past with Maria in the kitchen late at night, bringing back memories that hurt. Childhood.

Sunday. I am truly thankful for my friends.

go

Hello. We're back in business.

I try to go with the flow, keep on track, walk the line, keep it real, follow my heart, be true to myself and whatever, but I'm kinda down and it aint workin' too well for me right now. I feel feelings, and they are heavy, and I wish I could just put them down and rest for a while.

Today the taxi drivers had a protest. They drove around town honking their carhorns.

I feel kinda destructive. I don't know. There's so much different stuff going on, in my head and outside. I need a rest. Damn.

Well, if anyone has followed this blog, you might have guessed that I have a kinda complex relationship to guys. This is true. There are several that occur in the blog. To be kind to all of you I thought I might actually start to explain what's going on, so that the blog is interesting not only for people who know what's been going on in my life lately.

There's a guy I like, he lives in London, Iv'e known him for about seven months or something and I liked him all along. I guess he likes me as well. But we havn't been able to spend enough time together to actually... become something, something more than just two people who both do all they can to avoid every kind of recemblance to a relationship imaginable. But since I came here I've become so happy and mentally not-so-challenged as before, and I started to open up to the idea of maybe falling for someone. I am still extremely catious and it still mostly scares me shitless, but yeah, I dated. I never liked anyone more than that guy in London but I never thought he'd come around, so I dated, and most of the times it ended with bitterness, but not so hard, because I always had him on my mind.

Sometimes I thought that I was only using him as some kind of safety net, but I came to the conclusion that he would be a quite sucky net. He doesn't keep me safe, he doesn't catch me when I fall, but that's not why I like him either. I like him because of who he is, because of how he talks and because of his smile. And some other stuff, whatever. He knows about Ford Fairlane and Arizona Dream. He's really cool. Whatever.

I met someone else. A really charming guy. After seeing him for a few weeks I told the guy in London (let's call him Joe, for fun and simplicity) and his reaction was not really what I expected. (A funny thing is that both these guys are bartenders. One pours beer in Cork and think's that cocktail bartenders are stupid, and that there should be a penalty for spinning bottles, one spins bottles in London and thinks that pub bartenders are stupid and that pouring beer is the most boring thing in the world. I find this very amusing.) So this Joe person. He admits to feeling feelings. For me.

I was really happy, and let my contact with the other bartender die. I spent my nights awake, in front of my computer, talking to Joe on msn. After a while he came over. It was nice. We spent a lot of time in my room. He left me happy, full of hope.

When he came back to London he started a new job and I did'nt hear from him much at all. After some time, when I finally got to talk to him for a while, he told me about his plans, which included staying in London for a few months more, moving to Germany and then going to Asia for six months or something. This made me cry. I don't think he realized. The next day I explained to him that I really wished that he would choose me when I chose him. When he asked me to choose him. I think, maybe, he understood.

After that I didn't hear from him for a few days, untill today, when he sent me a short mail about the weather in London. I still don't really know how to react.

I miss him.

There is a heavy load of other stuff on me as well. My mom and Robin has been here, and left again. Johan/Afrika and Viola have both arrived and seem to be getting along with life and people and everything just peachy. The pub bartender and I are kinda getting in touch again. The seriousness of before is kinda gone though, after no contact at all for a few weeks.

So yeah, anyhow, I'm watching CSI, witch is fun, and commercials, witch are in Irish.

I'm frustrated, a bit angry, a bit sad. Not only because of the Irish commercials.