Looking back and looking ahead.
There are things I want to feel. I want to be close, feel the touch of skin. I want to know.
I think I might be ready to start letting go though.
I think about that time. That first time, in the dark, that last time. (That other time, all those other times.)
Things are what they are, whatever I want or do. Sometimes I can't do anything about that. Right now I think I might be ready to start accepting reality. My not so firm grip on reality might be getting better. Who knows. Baby steps.
A physiotherapist has told me to stop running. My hips are to screwed up.
I kinda feel... not so lost, right now.
I'm at Emilias. It is a good place to be.