So today I had a long, stressful, confusing and pretty bad day. I had a stupid and meaningless fight, I was tired, my confidence is crap (I'm in a fucking mental institution, good luck feeling on top of shit) and stuff in general is shitty.
Ended with a game of scrabble at the ward and it was fun. It feels nice hanging out with people who also feel like shit. We can laugh at it. And we do, and we laugh at the fact that we're laughing. We tell each other that our craziness is okay and laugh at it. We're all here. We all have reasons. I can forget about my life and all the crap and all the things I've done that have lead me here. I can forget about how I have failed completely. I'm normal here.
And when I'm not here that feeling lingers for a while. It follows me out into the world.
I'm getting new meds soon. And tomorrow I'm going home to do some laundry.