My throat hurts more today and I'm so fucking angsty. I'm so sad and tired and my brain feels like it's just not working properly. The painting hysteria is fading a little as my paintings are getting more crappy. I don't know. Maybe I'm imagining it.
I feel angry and lonely and friendless. Unloved. Unworthy of love.
I'm in bed, listening to Leonard Cohen-covers, feeling both mentally crappy and like I have a cold coming on-crappy. But at this exact moment - not like I want to die. Don't know why. A bit strange.
I'm going to stay here for a little bit more and then do brunch dishes and then go back to bed. Hopefully for the rest of the day.