Sunday 18 January 2015

Hey wow

I woke up early actually. I got the dishes done before the others woke up and we ate a huge magnificent brunch together.

My throat hurts more today and I'm so fucking angsty. I'm so sad and tired and my brain feels like it's just not working properly. The painting hysteria is fading a little as my paintings are getting more crappy. I don't know. Maybe I'm imagining it. 

I feel angry and lonely and friendless. Unloved. Unworthy of love. 

I'm in bed, listening to Leonard Cohen-covers, feeling both mentally crappy and like I have a cold coming on-crappy. But at this exact moment - not like I want to die. Don't know why. A bit strange. 

I'm going to stay here for a little bit more and then do brunch dishes and then go back to bed. Hopefully for the rest of the day. 

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